We Just Say Thank You

A couple of years ago, I introduced a little gratitude practice at our family dinner table. 

Once all of us had sat down for the meal, we would collectively hold hands, and then all say, “Thank You”. 

That’s it. 

Just taking a moment to be intentional about giving thanks. 

Thanks for being together. Thanks for all that we have. Thanks for something good that happened that day. Thanks for whatever. 

Sometimes we’ll all share what we’re thankful for, and it tends to run the gamut. 

• "I'm thankful we're having pasta tonight."
• "I'm thankful Mom is back from her work trip."
• "I'm thankful I got an A on my test."
• "I'm thankful I got to play my favorite video game today."

Over the years, I've read a number of books and articles extolling the value of practicing gratitude.

Thanksgiving has also always been one of my favorite holidays. I like its relative simplicity and the fact that, at its core, it's largely about gathering with people you care about and giving thanks.

This little daily reminder to say thank you is just one small way our family tries to incorporate gratitude into our lives. 

We're not particularly religious, so saying grace before dinner was never really part of our family routine. But I've always liked the idea of pausing before a meal and acknowledging that there's something to be grateful for.

Our version is simply saying thank you.

The best evidence that the tradition has stuck is what happens when we eat with other people.

Sometimes we'll have friends over for dinner or eat at someone else's house. Inevitably, one of the kids will reach out their hands or announce that we haven't said "thank you" yet.

The adults usually look slightly confused.

We explain that it's just a little thing our family does.

And then, almost always, everyone joins in.

To be honest, I didn't come up with the idea. I "stole it" from a book I read years ago.

It seemed like such a simple, potentially powerful thing to incorporate into our lives.

Two years later, I think it worked.

It's no longer something I'm trying to get the family to do. It's simply something our family does.

I know it has positive effects on me. Taking just a few seconds to stop and think about one positive thing that happened that day helps ground me and remind me just how lucky we really are. 

I hope the practice helps my kids become more grateful people. Maybe it will. Maybe it won't.

But I do know that after two years, "thank you" has become part of our family.

Nobody has to remind us why we do it anymore.

We just reach for each other's hands.

And say thank you.